How many of us, or our friends and family, or even people we come across seem to spend a considerable amount of their time dwelling on past failures, bad events in their past and events that they cannot ever change or influence in their ‘now’ time.
My own past, as a child, was punctuated with the death of both my parents, at four years old, as well as that of both of my foster parents and on arriving back to London, after being forced into boarding school ,I found that my home had been sold and I had nowhere to stay now at 16 years old! But read on! as these are events to make us all potentially more successful.
What this meant for me was that I was either going to be a survivor or not, and, for me there was only one choice; to be not only a survivor but a very successful survivor. My ability to put the past behind me was based on being able to visualize myself ‘closing the door’ on these events after they happened. Believe me it was a seemingly continuous series of unfortunate events that had affected me drastically, but these were all things that I had no control over. What else was there to do? allowing these things to put us down or affect our future well-being and success was not an option but it can become a ‘convenient crutch’ for non achievement in our future.
I chose to use these events to strengthen my resolve in never allowing my past to ‘negatively’ affect my future. Of course our past failures or events that we had no control over, like the passing of family and friends, losing ones job or other life-changing circumstances, can make a sound proving ground for learning to ‘close the door.’ In doing this we can learn to quickly move on.
I lost my job several times and when this happened I can tell you honestly that, for me, religion went right out of the window and personal survival took an urgent precedence over sitting at home or in church praying for a bolt of lightning and a complete stranger in glowing robes telling me “Go Forth my son and right there is your new job.” I have used the ‘close that door’ visualization many times and it has made my ability to focus on what needs to be done far easier than to keep wasting my thoughts and energy more on what just happened rather than what to do about it. Multi-tasking, for me, is a myth as you only have 100% of your available thoughts and energy and therefore splitting this valuable resource focused in two directions and ‘what just happened’ rather than ‘what do I do about it’ leads to a confusing mind-set which is more emotional than passionately doing something about it.
Here are some very real events that demonstrate this:
1. When I found that my house had been sold, at 16 years old in London with nowhere to go I simply went to a friend and his parents and stayed with them until I got my own place and an took on an apprenticeship to take me forward.
2. In another case I lost my job suddenly, with a family to feed, due to the politics of my then managers in my company. Instead of focusing my anger on that company and the people who had done this, I converted my anger to instead focus on the excitement of having a new career which had a very good outcome.
3. In another example I was CEO of a company and had just successfully turned it around from near failure to a raving success, when out of the blue, a competing product came in from overseas wiping out twenty five percent of our sales within three months and along with that our operating profit. Again I made no other choice but to focus on what was needed to turn the situation around. I focused on making a new product and nothing else. The result was that I developed the best selling product in my markets history and in doing so I turned the company around very quickly.
I make this thinking sound easy and I have many more examples of where ‘closing that door’ made my future not only positive but very successful. The potential outcome to turn one way or the other, success or failure, bankruptcy or becoming financially independent depends on us alone and our ability to stay focused only on what we need to do to affect our future success leading from these events.
People meaning well have annoyingly have said,’Keep Positive’ but that is like wanting to become a millionaire with no direction or method as to how to get there ‘an un-directed missile’. While these people mean well these bland statements never did ‘cut it’ for me and it is only anger into action and emotion into focus that will make the chance of a positive outcome a good one.
I now help others with their resumes and life coaching help, when they have lost their jobs and I try to improve their job search and negotiation techniques in order to get their thinking towards moving in the right direction for a new position. So far I have a high success with this and I do it to ‘pay it forward’ which everyone should do. I do this because I know how devastating it is for a person or family this one event can be.
- We cant change our past but we can use these experiences for our bright future.
- Instead of allowing our anger or emotion at the time to cloud our thoughts and dissipate our energy, convert that energy into action for what needs to be done to move forward
- Practice mentally ‘closing the door’ as a way to shut down that past event and to focus forward rather than backwards.
By Author Tony Moore
By Author Tony Moore
These are excerpts from his book ‘One Of A Kind-Making It Happen’ by Tony Moore,published through Tate Publishing, and are a small example of how we can be motivated by our past in order to achieve our future success. Tony Moore is a motivational speaker as well as being the US Correspondent for a UK radio station, GloTIME Radio, where his regular interviews with singers, songwriters, performers, artists, Doctors leading addiction recovery centers and other leaders of homeless shelters all demonstrate what it takes to become successful.Tony has a web page, facebook page at http://oneofakindbytonymoore.com and has many broadcast interviews available to hear free on his you Tube page.